You know nothing about people

You'd think that after spending several weeks with some people you'd know them. But I don't. I don't know what about they're families or their journey to get here. I don't know them and I don't make it my business to. I enjoy writing on my blog and a key part of that is to be observant but I find that I care less and less about the people and things going on around me. I'm apathetic about most things right now. Maybe I'm going through one of my depressions, maybe I'm just jaded. I don't know...

It's just a fucking Cape!

Have you met that person who thinks that they know everything about fashion and therefore whatever they say is law. What they say is beyond reproach and a conversation that should have lasted only a few seconds ends up taking minutes of my precious time, which could have been spent daydreaming and lazing. It ends up as a mini argument and the subsequent silence all so that you can forget about the whole saga by the next day. It's boring, it's a waste of time and it's annoying. That person insists on arguing with everything that you say, just because they have thunder thighs and have to be very careful about how the dress. And in the end I think about how I didn't really care that much about the topic in the first place and I was only trying to banter and that she's 29 and this is so lame. I think about how I need a job so that I can get a hair cut and buy some lovely clothes instead of the clothes I've had for five years plus. The clothes I wore when I was 18. I think about how I'd love to be shopping in Japan and away from this situation because I'm bored, unbelievably bored and restricted. It's just a fucking Cape!

The September Issue vol.3 chp 1

I'm one of those confident types, I wear want I want when I want and anything I can't afford I make. I've realised all of my dreams. I'm as artistic and free as I ever wanted to be. I live in Japan. I started off in Osaka and after a year I moved to Yokohama, Tokyo. I hang around in Shibuya, Omotesando and Daikanyama regularly. I experience the street fashion I'm obsessed with and better yet I learn the language, the culture, the people. I am right where I want to be. I have my own dinky, minuscule tatami mat flat. I'm losing weight but that's welcomed. I'm on a budget and that means no matter how awful my cooking, I have to eat it. My closet space is non-existent but I pack lightly. I use a futon that I air out when the weather permits. The neighbours aren't very chatty - not like in Osaka - but I figure it's only a matter of time.

I work as a English teacher. Everyday I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, shower, do my hair and get dressed; preferably something quirky but formal... not too formal, mind you; I'm not part of the herd of office, business, all-round serious people in this world. I work with these really great kids, some of them are called delinquents but I've seen worse. No one expects too much from me, they treat me as the foreigner, always different, never Japanese. It doesn't bother me that much because I'm still wondering around Japan with rose-tinted glasses. I take part in after-school activities like archery and film club. Commuting back from work, I stop by the 100 yen store to pick up some underwear and slippers.

On weekends I tutor a student for an hour; just for conversational English. We sit in a cafe and I have some type of fruit juice in the summer or hot chocolate in the winter; I don't drink tea or coffee. My student's a boy, he's painfully shy but I suspect that's because I'm foreign and not just any foreign, I'm black foreign. It doesn't bother me, though. He's a kid. Talking to him is like pulling teeth but I don't care because I'm still getting paid. One day we'll find a common ground, somewhere we can connect, I hope.

After tutoring I call my girl, we're going to see a movie. We're not sure which, we're just gonna get there and then decide. My Japanese is pretty solid by now so I can watch a Japanese film with no worries.  She's really cool. I met her at one of those uber cool vintage shops in Harajuku called Kinsella. She was rummaging around the scarf rack. I have a penchant for scarves. For some reason (I can't remember why) we start talking and we took it from there. Looking back it was very unusual for me to make a friend like that; I'm a bit of a loner, I'm an accidental loner... but a loner all the same. I head home for a clean up of my flat and I make a list of what I need. I head off the the mall in my high-waisted apparel jeans rolled up at the ankle and a cropped top I made out of African wax print. It's a warm enough day, though and I meet someone at the music store. We exchange numbers ^_^.

I get back home around 4:00pm and I'm out of my place just as soon as I got in. I need to get to the cinema's.

Post-August 19th

In My Reality: San was empty because that's exactly what happened. NOTHING. On the night of August 18th I found out that the university wasn't accepting any home/EU students through Clearing, effectively cancelling Clearing 2010. I never got a chance to try...

In My Reality: San

In My Mind: Ni

In my mind this is how I want the conversation on August 19th to go:

Tutor: What were your results?

Me: Three C's.

Tutor: You can't really do any of our courses...

Me: I know, but I got those grades like years ago.

Tutor: I see...

Me: For the past 3 years I been studying Biology at Queen Mary. Last summer I decided to drop out (I'm not sure whether I should add in the fact that I failed) and pursue Japanese full-time. Alongside studying at QM I've been teaching myself Japanese. I feel that I need guidance in my study, short of moving to Japan I don't know how else to best improve my Japanese skills. I really have a genuine passion for any thing Japanese, I want to know anything and everything. I think this uni has the perfect atmosphere to nurture that.

Tutor: Uh huh, uh huh..........Welcome aboard. Give us your clearing number and you can enroll in September.

Me: Woooooooooohoooooooooooooo.

THE END

In My Mind: Ichi

In my mind this is how the conversation on August 19th will go:

Tutor: What were your results?

Me: Three C's.

Tutor: You can't really do any of our courses... (Thanks to this shitty economy and even shittier Coalition Government there aren't any places left in clearing.)

Me: Not even Chinese? (I figure I could get my foot in the door.)

Tutor: NO!!!

ABRUPT END

Pre-August 19th

I'm bloody nervous and it's only August 17th. I have a plan. I have a speech. I'm gonna bombarded them with info about why I'm such a great prospect. I'm not gonna take no for an answer. I'm even thinking about bribing them, but that's for when I'm really desperate. I don't know whether I should write about what August 19th means to me because I don't want to jinx it... but I guess it's OK cos I'm not gonna publish it right away.

August 19th is an important day for any 18-ish year olds in England because the A'Level exam results come out. It's a day when you find out what else you're gonna be studying for the next 3-4 years. My results day was filled with tears because I got three C's, what a waste of tears: a) three C's aren't that bad; especially since I hardly studied for them, b) I would've been failing Biomedical Sciences at King's instead of Biology at Queen Mary. You can see that science was not in my future but I was trying to force the subject. At that spectacularly crap Catholic school I was always good at Art but I didn't pursue it. I didn't think that it was a 'serious' person's subject, so I did Biology and Chemistry... that's what 'serious' people do - you can see how green I was. I couldn't see a future in Art because I never felt like I was particularly good at it, I wasn't particularly good at the Sciences either but I thought I could get better. Why didn't I think I could get better at Art? I was short-sited (I really am short-sited if you saw my pics, hihi) and immature, but that's what you expect of a kid. I wish I'd had more guidance.

City of Westminster College is my back-up plan. I'm one of those people who didn't particularly like school. I'm also one of those people who give little effort or emotion to things that don't interest them. I don't want to go back to that college setting to do Biology, Psychology and Sociology just to get the A'level entry grades for BA Japanese. I might need to, though. Why would I want to go to university? University's a whole other kettle of fish, in my opinion. Queen Mary wasn't even that bad, I just hated Biology. I think studying something I love at a great uni would bring out the best in me. I mean, seriously...I'm a Ghanaian studying Japanese by myself. If I didn't have a passion for it I would have giving up when I started trying to memorise Kanji.

So here I am, wishing that I was Irish or a Leprechaun, praying that someone really fucks up their exams and I get their spot - I kinda feel guilty for that, though. Phone lines open at 9am, so I'll start ringing at 8:58. Fingers crossed, wish me luck. ^_^

You really get to know people

I had a great conversation with Henry VIII the other day. I said earlier that we hadn't really started yet but I think we have now. We talked about university; he told his school that their courses were shit even though he basically failed each year and still managed to graduate, I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. Why couldn't I tell Stan that his course was shit but he should still let me progress to the third year even though I... ahh, he has the gift of the gab - a gift I'm trying to imitate come August 19th but that's another post. Then we went onto Japan; the lucky bastard got visit a friend in Tokyo the year before, I can at least say that my Japanese is better than his...but that's not really worth shit cos I really want to be in Japan. We even talked about Ghanaian food because he'd tried fufu, this coming out of a English boy had me pleasantly surprised ^_^.

The Queen and her Sidekick: these are two new characters in the saga that is my internship. They're generally pleasant, but they can give off this attitude. I'm not sure whether it's immaturity or the much documented black girl attitude; it doesn't help, in this world, to have that attitude. You have to behave in public, that's all I'm saying. You have to learn to put on a pleasant face when you're pissed off because, guess what, this is an internship. Even if they don't keep you on, you get the experience as well as something great to add to your CV. But they don't get that, the latter more so than the former. Maybe if they'd spent a year in exile, unsure of the future, unsure of plans laid, unsure of everything they would appreciate this opportunity more. I just found out today that the Sidekick left. Just up and gone. She went on her lunch break and never came back. I was chatting with the Showgirl about what a waste it was. It wasn't that bad, but she gave up becuase it wasn't worth it for her to grit her teeth and bare with it. I wonder if that's because of a lack of maturity. When I think about my situation last year, when I think about that sinking feeling and the need to get out of the situation as quickly as possible I wonder if giving up was that simple for her. Granted, she was a moody little cow, hihi (even the models thought so), but she could really talk to people when she wanted to. She could be really charming so that she built up a rapport with the clients - a skill I've only incrementally improved on. She even told me about the clients she had gained, her CV would've been great, what a waste.

I was studying Biology because I didn't take a breath after my A'Levels to truly understand what best suited me, I can be at peace with myself over the decision to quit a degree I had no intention of utilizing except to get my visa for Japan. The Sidekick is a fashion student, can she guarantee that she won't meet any of this people ever again? That they won't remember?

Look! It has Wiiiinnnggggssss

Do you like them, do you? Don't worry if you don't cos I do. Flaunt anything with a Japanese style heel or pleats (preferably not together) and I'm sold. I go crazy for these VW + Melissa Plastic Dreams Rocking Horse shoes, but alas I'm poor. Feel free to buy them for me in any colour, I really don't mind. I'm a European Size 5 (I'm a 5 and a half really, but no one sells that). ^_^ ............. .....and this.

She Judo Chopped me

So, during the busiest week yet at this internship I was Judo chopped. Yes, JUDO chopped... OK, maybe I'm being a bit dramatic. I'd been on my feet all day helping the models change into and out of their clothes. I'd had lunch courtesy of the company but it was awful. I had a Falafel melt from Pret; it's a wrap filled with Feta, sauteed red onions, tomato sauce and Falafel, of course. Don't ever get it, it's pure acid. The Falafel was drowned out by the lemon acidic, tomato puree sauce (hey Pret, you have to balance tomato sauces with sugar or the equivalent) and the Feta just intensified the sharp, biting taste. The only relief came from the sweet red onions but they were scarce.

Anyway, I was on a roll; unzipping, buttoning etc. I had just finished unbuttoning a garment and I was about to place/chuck it onto the model's chair. BAM! She got me! It was purely accidental, but in a blink of an eye my glasses were on the floor in two and my vision was a blur. The model was filled with apologies and promises to fix them. She was surprised at how calm I was but... I really didn't care that much, I was too busy and I had another pair; they're not the same prescription but they work. I've been wearing glasses since I was in year three so that makes it about 12 years. My eyesight is bad but not awful. I can function without them but I can't drive, or read or see people very well... that sounds quite bad, though. Thinking about it now, my eyesight is shit. I wouldn't even be able to cross the road. My boss sent me upstairs to get a replacement to assist the models and to fix my glasses, I offered to carry on but she wasn't having it. I don't know what I was thinking, I can just imagine it now; unbuttoning the clothes with them 2cm from my face because that's the only distance at which they weren't a blur, lol.

My boss's boss examined them and decided that because it was a clean break they could be super-glued together again. I was up for it cos I wanted to get back to work. She glued them back together and they were like new. You wouldn't even know that they had been broken. Moral of the Story; don't get too close to the models ^_^    

You get to know people

First impressions aren't always true. You hang around the same people long enough, you find that you peel off a new layer each time. This past month and a half I've learned a lot about the other interns. Some of them have revealed their ages in their stroppy behaviour, while others have revealed their adaptability, their street savvy.

I feel like I'm jumping the gun because I didn't write a post about the Spring/Summer interns of '11 - I planned to but I didn't get to it, mostly because I was feeling lazy; that's how we ended up with Newbies. I think I mentioned before that there were nine of us in all, and of that nine there were only two guys so I'll start with them. The first guy, I'm gonna call Henry VIII cos he looks like Henry VIII, the early years; I wouldn't compare him to the fat, bed-sore ridden, "hoist me onto my horse" Henry VIII in his latter years. He's more like Henry the hunter of game, the lover of sport and trophies. He's 6 ft ish with a bit of a belly though, lol. He's got a really cool fashion sense for a straight guy, and he wears a lot of expensive brands which I'm still not sure how he gets his hands on. I figure he's either a rich kid or he knows someone who knows someone. The type who has a lot of connections. He wears tailored trousers, rolled up so that he reveals his quirky striped socks and brown, leather shoes as is the fashion in London nowadays. Yesterday, he donned a black, sequined cap; it was so wrong but so right. Henry's a Chatty Cathy in a really good way, that's the first thing I noticed about him. He fits in so well. Initially, I thought that he was a permanent member of staff; he'd only started a week prior to me but he knew everything and whatever he didn't know he was quick to learn. He was able to talk to the staff as a colleague and not as an unpaid intern. I don't think that we've gotten off to a good or bad start because we haven't really started. That's what happens when you have so many interns that work on different lines, you can go the whole day without talking to each other or even seeing each other. But when we do see each other it's usually at the office and he's crazy funny, and witty and knowledgeable.

The other male intern is the Raj, he's very friendly and inquisitive. He's really dedicated to his work - which I admire. I think he comes from an affluent family because he's an oversees student, who's still here during the summer. And he goes out for lunch - a luxury I can't afford, lol. I think he's sweet and by sweet I mean gay. Why? The swish of his hips as he walks is unlike any other heterosexual man I have met in my life. We all know that straight men pretend to be unaware of they're hips unless they're dancers. I think we'll get on fine ^_^.

The other interns are OK, there's not much to say about them because no particular personality stands out to me. I'll just say that I can see some issues between certain girls, but we're girls; I don't think we could call ourselves females if we didn't dislike each other at some point during the day, lol.

Why the Fuck are you Here?

So far, at this internship, we've had pretty good clients. They range from pleasant to seriously funny. Today we got an über bitch. The type of bitch you read about in books like The Devil Wears Prada, she was just so pissy. She came later than her colleague, for whatever reason, and I ended up having to greet her at the door. With a smile Julie Andrews would be proud of I greeted her and with a sour-ass face she greeted me, no that's wrong, she didn't greet me, she registered my presence. She was a heavy set woman, which was probably why she insisted on wearing a boring, black, wrap-around dress that skimmed over her. I wouldn't have pegged her for a buyer at first glance. They normally have a sense of style even when it is simple, she could have been on Fleet Street with the way she was dressed. She had blonde hair; not the nice kind, no, it was dull, unnatural... like she'd been dyeing it for some years.  I knew this wasn't gonna go well.

I took her upstairs - oh, I forgot to mention that she was so late that her colleague had already picked out the collection she thought would work best for them. She walked in like a tornado and said 'No. No. Don't like it. Can't sell it.' All with a sour-ass face. She didn't like anything that made the collection unique. She wanted safe and easy. I despise safe and easy. When she left as sourly as she came in, her colleague quietly apologised to my boss for her boss. But this is the fashion industry, there are pricks and sour bitches everywhere you turn.

A Cocktail and a Farewell

That lucky bitch got to model for the Designer. I'm sorry to jump straight into it like but I'm so green, so what if I'm barely 5' 2'', so what if I have a hips that hate me. I could have done it. Okay, so I've had my rant and I've left la-la land. Life's comme ci, comme ca - if your wondering. I've been at this internship for a month and I'm definitely starting school this September... I just don't know where. I'll either be at a university or at a college. I don't have to state which I'd prefer, do I?

I was reading wanderinginmiyazaki today, she was leaving Japan after a 2 year stint as a teacher. I was... what's the word... not as strong as melancholy but thereabouts. I was sad to see her go because the blog was great and real and welcoming. But I could still see that she had had a great experience and it was time to move on. She seemed like she had learned and grown from life in Japan. Good Luck ^_^

Newbies

Interns are plenty, for the showroom alone there are nine. We don't get travel but we can help ourselves to biscuit and diet coke - as long as we don't gorge. I give myself a coke when I've worked particularly hard but I try not to make it a habit, don't wanna be accused of stealing. We do anything and everything ranging for getting tea, coffee, lunch and aiding in general sales. We work in pairs for each brand, I work with a showgirl... at least that's what I'm gonna call her. I know a lot of people that would dislike her, but I'm not one of them. Why? Cos I don't give a shit. We work together and have pleasant conversations. That's it. I don't take her too seriously. I think it's that attribute the makes it easier to live in a place like Japan, which has a  pretty homogeneous population. I'm spectacularly unobservant.